How Do I Know I am In A Good Relationship?

EDITOR’S NOTE: The importance of a good relationship cannot be over emphasized. Our entire being depends on it. We cannot live happily and in harmony without good relationship. Our progress as individuals and a nation depends on how good our relationship is with one another. In this article, BALARABA J. JOHN writes on ten essential ingredients of a good relationship and how to look out for them in any relationship you find yourself in, whether with your partner, friend, colleague, employer etc.

How Do I Know Am In A Healthy Relationship
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Relationship permeates every aspect of our lives. There is nothing we do here on earth that does not have some connection directly or indirectly to do with relationship. When you reach maturity and start to date, you enter into a form of relationship likewise married couples. Relationship does not stop there; it extends to our children, house-helps, friends, colleagues, employees, employers etc.

These days you frequently hear questions like these: how do I know I am in a good relationship? How do I know my relationship with him/her is not on the rocks? How do I improve my relationship with my spouse? How do I know I have a good working relationship with my boss? How do we increase our sales or company’s turnover through good marketing system and customer relation? What are the signs to look out for when a leader is having good relationship with his cabinet members? How do leaders and citizenry break the gap in communication and improve relationship, which will culminate in improved standard of living and societal progress? How does a country know that is having a healthy relationship with the outside world or international community?

Developing effective relationship takes more than a wish or lip service; it requires conscious and personal efforts, well-planned and systematic approach and continuous improvement on it. Relationship is one area of our lives that is essential and has connection directly or indirectly, by implication, to other areas. If you are in a good relationship, chances are that other areas of your life will be healthy or better. Hence, the need to watch out for those pointers or monitors with the aim of not just seeing or appreciating your progress in that relationship but to know when to improve on it. Here are ten signs of a good relationship:

  1. Sincerity: Every good relationship is built on the foundation of truth and honesty. Oftentimes the best way to know the kind of relationship you are into or where such relationship is heading to, is through its genuineness or otherwise.
  1. Affection: Every good relationship is borne out of love. No one goes into or establishes a relationship with someone based on animosity; as such, the relationship will be reduced to nothing more than mere hypocrisy.
  1. Interest: Concern about somebody needs, lifestyle, demeanour, business, success, gains, failure, happiness, joy, peace etc is the essence of every good relationship. Any relationship without a genuine interest to help, build and better the lots of the parties involved or their targets, it is not a good relationship.
  1. Forgiveness: A good relationship does not necessarily mean that the parties involved in the relationship will not have some squabbles, clash, disagreements or misunderstanding. What actually makes it a good relationship is the ability of the disagreeing or warring parties to reconcile, make amends and to forgive.
  1. Giving/Sharing: People wrongly go into relationship with the notion of accumulating; amassing and getting their problems solved or needs met. However, this is one of the reasons of establishing a relationship but should not be the central aim. Relationship is about giving and sharing. Both parties in a relationship are supposed to be givers. Any relationship where only one party gives and contributes becomes lopsided, and there is possibility that such relationship will not stand the test of time.
  1. Dependability: Every good relationship should be the one that can be described as reliable, trusty, steadfast and staunch. It should be type where all the parties will trust and rely upon or fall back to should they find themselves in some kind of situations.
  1. Empathy: Any relationship a person is and the other parties do not empathize with him in any way when the need arises or always abandon him to himself when they should rally round him or support him, is certainly not a good relationship.
  1. Knowledge: Some people go into a relationship with the impression that it is the sole responsibilities of the other party(s) to know and understand them. They do not attempt to know and understand the other parties by so doing, unknown to them; they are building their relationship on a marshy ground. To build a good relationship, all the parties involved should endeavour and take it as a priority to know and understand each other.
  1. Diligence: Relationship is like any human endeavour, it has to be worked into success. Personal action and efforts are required in order for it to succeed. The success of a relationship does not lie on the name given to it or the calibre of people involved in it but the amount of efforts put to it by the people involved in the relationship.
  1. Faithfulness: This is very important in a relationship. It depends on the relationship type you find yourself; some relationship requires absolute faithfulness like spousal relationship, intimate relationship, some organisations in workplace relationship etc.

Lack of faithfulness breeds mistrusts, qualms, trouble, disagreement and most times, breakup. It is advisable, if you are the type that is too liberal and find faithfulness rather awkward to think through before venturing into a relationship, to save yourself from being called dishonest, unfaithful, a cheat, a player etc. that might affect your other relationships in the future.

BALARABA J. JOHN is a member of the Editorial Board and an advisor to youBalaraba  She is a writer, motivational speaker, founder of Cintabali Consults International and owner of, a blog which treats the dispirited and inspire people to achieve greatness in life. She is also a  board member of Josh & Jonbally and serves as a consultant to Sarason Resources Limited and other organisations in Nigeria. Currently, she is doing her post graduate studies at Anglia Ruskin University, Cambridge, UK. You can reach her at Follow her on twitter.  Read more of her articles here

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